My Anonymous Blog

American Idol - Final 13 - Elimination Results (warning - spoilers!)

So long, Jasmine & Jorge!!!

I hope you enjoyed your 15 minutes...because chances are good that nobody will ever hear from either of you again.

American Idol - Season Eight - Top 13

Here we are at the main part of the competition already!  I’m admittedly less excited about things this year and suffering from a been there, done that kinda feeling all around. The fact that none of the final contestants are really inspiring me ain’t helping much … where is the next Kelly or Fantasia or Carrie or Daughtry?!  I don’t feel like I’ve seen one yet, and I’m not sure that I will. 

Here are some notes on last night's show:

Lil Rounds: Lil Rounds is yet another Idol contestant that the judges have boosted into the final stage of the competition with bloated, undeserved complements.  And I really can’t figure it out because, from her looks to her singing ability, she’s entirely average.  I hope she doesn’t go as far in the competition as the judges hope she will.

Scott Macintyre: Would hair and makeup please do something about his greasy curls, frumpy clothes and SOMEBODY PLEASE give him sunglasses?! He’s creeping me out!! I know that’s probably not a politically correct thing to say, but since he’s a well below average musician anyway, there you have it. It's a shame that his other abilities weren’t sharpened by the loss of his vision.  His phrasing is dreadful, his piano playing is clunky and he has no stage presence. And did I mention that he’s CREEPING ME OUT?!

Danny Gokey: Entirely average. I don’t know why the judges love him. I mean, really?  REALLY?! He has a fabulous sob story about his parents dying, or his wife … or both? Or his hamster? I have no idea, but I’m sure tween voters are eating it up and he'll go a long, long way on Idol this season.

Michael Sarver: They love showing clips of him on the job site toiling away while hammering and drilling shit. And pointing out that he’s had such a hard, fatherless life.  I’d shed a tear for him IF HE COULD SING. Truly dreadful mess and a candidate for elimination provided his sad sack backstory doesn’t win voters over.

Jasmine Murray: Another average girl. She’s pretty, her vocals are safe – not great, not entirely dreadful (but almost). And as we all know … playing it safe and leaving viewers with no real impression to remember you by is one surefire way to get sent packing.

Kris Allen: How adorable and sexy is he? I mean, really?! He has kind of a cuddly look to him…an ‘I’d like to sit on the couch watching movies with him’ kinda cuddly. He’s fun. He’s talented. Granted, he’s not the best vocalist, but he draws people in with his charm and good looks. I really like him. I'd do him. And how adorable and sexy is he? Did I already say that?  Although, I agree with Simon that it’s a little bit too early to bring out the wife  because he should be playing up his cute factor as much as possible in the early rounds.

Allison Iraheta: She has a huge voice for sixteen. Huge. I worry that she chose a heavy song that isn’t highlighting how young and current she could potentially be.  I like her and I think that if she shows some emotional range, she’ll go far in the competition.

Anoop Desai: I’ve never bought into the hype the judges are attempting to bestow upon him and feel he’s nothing more than a good karaoke singer. Note to hair and makeup – pluck his eyebrows. Please. He has more hair above each eye than I have left on my entire (and admittedly balding) head. And I'm not saying that out of jealousy - he could have a hedge maze pruned into his forehead!

Jorge Nuñez: Eek. Where to start? His lazy eye? His dreadful vocals? Is that a Jheri curl? I predict he’s going to be sent packing. I can’t even remotely remember what he sang. OFF WITH HIS HEAD!

Megan Joy: She’s beautiful, I’ll give her that much. And her vocals are unique.  I even think she’d make an interesting album – her voice is better suited to studio recording as opposed to live performances. And because of this, I don’t think she’s going to make it far in the competition unless she really works on her vocals and phrasing.  She’s consistently singing flat and doesn’t have the most engaging stage presence ever to grace the Idol stage … but at least she’s pretty. And original … and those two things will keep her around a little while longer. Maybe.

Adam Lambert: The thing about Adam is that, because he comes from a professional theatre background, every move and vocal is so, so, sooooooooo over the top that I feel as if I’m watching him perform in [insert name of generic rock musical here] instead of envisioning him as the next big pop recording artist. I wonder how far he’ll get in the competition before this hurts him? I personally believe he belongs on Broadway.  He’s incredibly talented and is born for that arena.

Matt Giraud: I actually like his piano playing, but I wish his vocals would match.  I think with time he’ll improve and come into his own. He definitely has to work on some pitch issues though and decrease the amount of vocal runs. I think part of this is nervousness. He might get better over time, and like Megan, I think he'll make a better record than he'll ever sound on live television.

Alexis Grace: I really love her and think she could, if she plays her cards right, win this competition. This wasn’t her best performance, and Paula was correct in telling her to be careful not to over sing. There's something Kelly Clarkson-like about her, and I know a lot of people are saying this ... but it's true!  She has that kind of sweet, mousy quality to her that Kelly had in the beginning, with the big voice to match. She's definitely someone to watch out for.

Side notes:

* I think Kara’s presence is giving Paula a competitive boost that is making her say somewhat intelligent things from time to time!  She’s still consistently loopy and the gold eye shadow and matching shiny outfit she wore tonight cracked me up, but on the whole she’s decidedly more lucid this season.

•    Thanks to Michael Jackson, the King of All Things Creepy, for opening up his entire catalog of music for Idol contestants to mangle! (Even if it was only done as part of his grand plan, along with his announced “comeback,” to help him claw his way out of hundreds of millions of dollars of debt.)

Prediction of who’s going home (there are two tonight): Michael Sarver & Jorge Nuñez